The Quiz
by Tobias
Summary: Maria and Ironhide go head to head in a contest on who knows more about weapons outside of their planet. Of course, what Ironhide doesn't know is that Maria has some help. ONESHOT No pairings. Goes along side my other story "Pursuit".


It had been a rather interesting plan. It was obvious to anyone that cared to pay attention to the facts that when you started to talk about weapons around Ironhide, the mech's chest would swell with pride, and his CPU based ego did the same to take up the extra space.

Talking about his canons would easily get you on his good side. Maria had gone head to head against the mech a few times with challenge questions about earth and cybertronian based weapons.

Of course, to keep things fair, the contests where judged by Ratchet. When they could convince him that it was the only way to get them to leave his med bay.

Once again, they had entered the med bay and demanded that Ratchet judge them on their latest contest. Interested in what was going on, Chromia had decided to watch the fun.

"Alright, fine." The medic grumbled, turning around on his bench. He leaned back against his table and folded his arms over his chest. "We'll use the usual point system. Each question you get right will be five points." He looked at Maria. "I hope you've been studying lately. Last time you missed a few."

Maria just grinned at him. "Just try and stump me this time."

"Ironhide, you're first this time. And I've blocked any internet connections in this area, so you can't cheat like last time." Ratchet sighed, thinking of a question. "The weapon used most widely by the US Army."

Ironhide nodded. "Easy, M-16A1."

"Right," Ratchet nodded. "And that weapon is cooled by what system?"

"It's an air cooling system." Ironhide stated, rolling his optics at how easy the questions were. "Next."

Ratchet took a moment to think of the next one. "Alright, the M-16A1 has a 40mm grenade attachment. It is called...?"

Ironhide seemed to think about this one for a moment. "The M308." He stated firmly.

"Wrong." Ratchet stated quickly. "M203. Next question. This weapon is a ground mounted machine gun that fires 7.62mm rounds."

"That would be the M249 Saw." Ironhide said, glancing down at Maria.

Ratchet shook his head. "Wrong again, Ironhide." He said, mildly amused. "The correct answer is the M240B Machine gun." Ratchet took a quick tally of the questions Ironhide had answered. "You got half of the questions right, Ironhide. You only earned ten points." He turned to Maria. "I hope you're ready. I'm not going to take it easy on you at all."

"Bring it on." Maria stated confidently, grinning over at Ironhide before turning her attention back to Ratchet.

"Alright, first question. What are the difference between Ironhide's twin cannons?"

Ratchet watched as it seemed that Maria was thinking about the question before answering. "One of his cannons operations on a friction based heating system while the other operations on a live flame system. When the results are the same, that is why one glows orange and the other blue."

Ratchet raised his optic ridges in surprise. "That is... correct. Hmm, alright, question number two." Ratchet looked up at Chromia for a moment before looking back down to Maria. "Chromia's favorite weapon was able to fire three types of ammo. What were they?"

Again, Maria seemed to think hard about the question. During that time, Ratchet glanced at Ironhide and then to Chromia. Something seemed slightly off in the room, but he couldn't put his oversized finger on it.

"It could fire energy rounds, plasma rounds, and copper bullet rounds."

Now Ratchet knew something was up. He nodded in growing amusement, all the while playing a hunch he had. "Alright, you've got two out of your four questions right. Your next question is much, much harder. Prowl has a chain gun mounted to his left arm. It can fire steel Cybertronian rounds or it can fire what earth-based ammo?"

Ratchet watched Ironhide flinch when Maria, once again, lowered her head in concentration. Ratchet was still playing his hunch. He grinned when he realized he was right. He listened patiently for the answer.

"It's a modification of a APFSDS round with a sabot loader. Prowl likes to exchange the KE dart for a High Explosive dart instead."

Ratchet was nearly confirmed in his suspicions, but needed just a little bit to be sure. He thought up a question he knew only those on his team or who had direct dealings with him would know. Thinking of the question he activated his saw, allowing it to rotate on his arm slowly. "My saw is made of what?"

He grinned as Maria lowered her head in thought again before looking back up at him, taking a moment to flash a winning grin to Ironhide before answering the question. "It's made of surgical steel, stainless steel, and a Cybertron based alloy. It's unbreakable, doesn't get dull, and not something I would want to get hit with."

Ratchet sat back on his perch, chuckling to himself as Ironhide sputtered out with disbelief. The weapons specialist didn't even give Ratchet a chance to declare Maria the winner before he grumbled something and stalked out of the room.

Ratchet waited for the door to slide shut with a quite amused look on his face. When he heard the hiss of his meeting the frame he turned to look at Chromia and Maria. "For the record," He started. "The only reason I didn't tell him you two cheated, was because even I need a decent laugh every once in a while."

Maria allowed her jaw to drop a little as she stared up at the medic. Chromia just rolled her eyes from her spot on the oversized couch. Somehow, she had seen this coming.

"How did you know?" Maria asked, still looking up at him.

"Part of being a medic is being able to monitor all frequencies. Even the one that your bluetooth headset operates on." He chuckled as he watched Maria look over her shoulder at Chromia. "Hey, if Chromia can hack into that frequency, what makes you think I can't listen in?" He snorted. "Give me some credit."

Maria sighed, turning around to face Chromia. The femme Autobot shrugged. "You still won the contest. Beating Ironhide even with my help is always fun."

"And what is it fun for you?" Maria asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Because, he's sulking now." Chromia grinned, getting up and making her way for the door. "And I get to be the one to 'cheer' him up."

xxxxxx

A/N: And there's my Maria/Ironhide.


End file.
